I swear these guys are perfect for us.
but the sad part is that we’re as weird as them i just
boys= nasty and dress bad
me= somehow still likes boys and is disappointed in myself and thinks i should do better
true friendship test: call your friend at midnight and ask if they want to go to mcdonalds
[Australian bonding call of “MACCAS RUUUUUUUN”]
me: im so gay
straight people: stop…..thats a slur…..you mean that youre so homosexual………….
me during classes
- "that’s racist"
- "that’s sexist"
- "there are more than two genders"
- "ok but could we maybe not use that word"
- "that’s transphobic"
- "that’s ableist"
- "there aren’t enough girls in here"
hii, so I haven’t written in a while, bc writers block is a bitch. I know it’s really really shit and I’m sorry if there are any errors in this piece, but I hope you all enjoy it and please request something or leave feedback. Thank you xx
Paring: (y/n) + Ashton
word count: 1,535
* (y/n) P.O.V*
The most beautiful smile I ever saw was his. His smile and laugh were defiantly my favoruite feature on him and they might be able to make world peace and cure cancer, well at least I wish they could cure caner, it would make everything so much eaiser. It’s funny how even though I’m the one that is going to die, all I can think about is him and how I am going to tell him this tragic news.
He came in two hours after I found out that I was going to die in 12 months, he was a gaint compared to me, he was 6ft tall and I was 5.1ft, he had dirty snady blonde hair compared to my boring brown hair, his smile and laugh are contagious, they were the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard while mine sounded like a seal, and whenever he walked into the room, I swear it made the room 10 times brighter, if that was even possiable.
He sat down in the custered coloured chair next to the bed, “how are you feeling?” he asked with that worried look on this face, the one that says ‘please tell me you’re going to be okay’ I’ve seen that look too many times for me to count anymore. I plaster on the biggest smile I could muster and reply “ yeah, I’m doing fine” I lied. I’m not fine, not one bit. He frowned, his face dropping, thats when I knew that he was 100% sure that I was lying, thats the thing about him, he could read me like an open book, he always had, he alwyas will, and it sucked. “(y/n), please tell me whats wrong, and don’t lie” he pleaded. I wondered why he was always here for me, why he hadn’t left me yet, it’s unfair on him. “Why are you still here Ashton?” I ask “What do you mean?” he asked, a hurt look in his eyes. “Why do you still care about me? Everyone else has left me, it was too hard on them, but you’re still here, why?” I look up at him “I’m still here because I love you, and I will try and help you get through this” he replys with a determinded look in his eyes. “Theres no point trying to help me get better anymore Ash” I sigh “w-what do you mean” he chocked out and once again that worried look on his face “Ashton the doctor said I only have 12 months left, maybe more, maybe less” I look away I can’t bare to see that look in his eyes, the one where it looks like he is going to start to cry, it’s too painful for me to watch him cry, not again.
He left 4 hours after I told him, he got yelled at 10 times by the nurses saying that visiting hours were over hours ago. Being in this hosptial sucked, you couldn’t go anywhere and there was nothing remotely interesting on the t.v . I think about what the doctor said
* “I’m sorry (y/n), but there is nothing more that we can do for you” the doctor said “how much longer do I have then?” I asked scared “you have 12 months, maybe more, maybe less” *
12 months, thats 1 year, 365 days, I don’t want to die in the hosptial, I want to go out there and do what normal normal 20 year olds do, I want to get wasted, I want to go around the world, I need to spend my last 12 months living the life that I always wanted to live, not in this hospital, so I made a bucket list. 5 things want to do before I die.
He came back 10 days after I told him. His hazel eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess. I knew that he had been crying, I knew that he hadn’t left his house. He said that he was sorry he haden’t visitied me in a while, he said that he was busy. I knew he was lying, but I just let it pass, like I let everything now days. I told him about my bucket list, and how I didn’t want to die in the hospital, he said that he understood, but I doubt he does. His never been the patient, always been the visitor. “Whats the first thing on your list?” he asked “to go to America and England” I replied “but I don’t think it’s going to happen because I don’t think that they will let me out of here, let alone the country” I sigh “they will ket you out, trust me” he said, then walked out of the room.
He was right, they did let me out, they knew what I was going to do, where I was going, they said good luck and then let me walk out of the doors, which I was thankful for. But now I’m back in the hospital, but on the other side of the world over 5000 miles away from my home, away from my doctors. I’ve had check ups through out my adventure with Ashton, Ashton being by my side the whole time, most of the check ups were them telling me that some how I’m getting better, which was good news, really good news. But then this happened. I couldn’t breath, I could barley move, I was in so much pain, I was getting worse, thats when Ashton walked out of the room. He couldn’t handle it anymore, and I don’t blame him for giving up, just like everyone else, just like I was. My battle has started to come to and end, and I’ve lost.
2 years. Over 2 years ago the love of my life passed away, I’m still not over her, I’m still so madly in love with her just like I was 2 years ago. I don’t think that I will ever get over her or stop loving her. Her funeral sucked, all the people who haden’t seen her for years acted like they were with her everyday when she was sick. I could see her turning over in her grave (well coffin) at some of the things that the speakers were saying. I was asked if I wanted to speak at her funeral but I declined, all the memories that we shared together over the last year when she was reall sick, are meant for us and only us to have, no one else needed to know about them. And no one would know about them.
I was having one of those nights, the ones where I feel like I can see her everywhere, it was like she was haunting me. I look staight ahead, I see her again, blinking a couple of times to see if it was real or not, she doesn’t fade away like she always did, she just stands there, beautiful as ever. “(y/n)” I wispher, she just smiles “Hey Ash”, “what are you doing here?” I asked confused “I came to see how you’re doing” she smiles again, god I love that smile on her and I’ve missed seeing it. “How do I move on? (y/n) how do I get over you? I see you everywhere, I can’t go on dates let alone outside my house without seeing you, and sometimes I see you even in my house, I can’t get over you and it’s been 2 years ” I chocked out, she just smiles sadly “you need to let go Ashton, let go of all the hope that you have of me coming back, you know just as well as I do, I’m not going to come back Ashton, I want to but you know I can’t it’t just how things eneded up, just how fate happened, so you need to let go, don’t forget the memoires of me, you’re the only one who knew what I was really like, what really hapenned to me, not the things that were made up, so don’t forget them, there priceless to not only me but to you, you know that, so let go of me and let another girl love you as much as what I do. Go out there and find your girl. I love you Ashton, don’t ever forget that” she replys “I love you (y/n)” I reply and with that she faded away.
(y/n) was right, once I let go of her, I never saw her again, not when I went outside nor in my house the only time I saw her was in the photos that I have of her, it didn’t feel like she was haunting me anymore, I knew she was still watching over me, taking care of me from up there, I could see her smiling that I fianlly moved on after 3 and half years I found someone who maybe doesn’t love me as much as what she did, and maybe I will never find someone who does, but this girl loves me pretty damn close to what (y/n) did, and I’m thankful for her and everything shes done.